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The Lord: I shall present an account of Judas which
this world will consider horrible. A treacherous deed followed by gloomy
despair will make him commit suicide and a rope and a willow tree will see
his worldly demise. Judas is one of those people who wants to tempt God,
which is a great blasphemy. Whosoever dares to commit a great blasphemy
against God will not neglect to commit a great blasphemy against himself,
first against God and then against himself. However, I can tell you that
those who commit suicide will hardly ever see God’s countenance in the
beyond. I could show you the reason for this even mathematically, but it is
not worth the effort. It suffices that you believe Me when I tell you the
cause of suicide. The reason or cause is always a kind of stupidity which
originates from despair. This then is the consequence of some kind of
blasphemy against God or against God’s commandments.
Various
Kinds Of Suicide And The Circumstances
Under Which Victims Live In The Beyond
1. The Lord: There are
various kinds of suicides, therefore there are differences between those who
commit suicide. When someone commits suicide because his immense pride was
humiliated and an opportunity for retaliation did not exist, this is a very
malicious kind of premeditated suicide. No one can ever make complete
amends for this kind of suicide to his soul. It requires one million years
in order for the soul’s skeleton to regain its spiritual flesh, because such
a soul completely lacks love. Much less can this being incarnate, because
this being is not whole and reincarnation is a product of love and it also
awakens love again.
2. When someone looks at a
maiden who in her physical form is almost a picture of perfection and
brimming with voluptuousness, such a sight seizes a man through and through,
and his heart will immediately display a glowing yearning to call this
maiden his own. Why is that so? Because the maiden’s carnal voluptuousness
is purely a product of much love! Whatever substance has love as its basis,
can and must awaken whatever quality is in the person next to it.
3. However, should we
approach a maiden who is dreadfully skinny? I can tell you this much: no
one’s heart will stir very much and secretly you will probably pity her, but
anyone would hardly fall in love with her. Why is that so? Because there is
too little of the material covering her bones, which can only be a product
of love!
4. A soul which has already
been pure love on earth appears in the beyond as most charming, voluptuous
and therefore extremely perfect as far as the form is concerned; whereas, a
soul that is stingy and self-loving appears as skinny. However, there is
still some flesh and blood, because such a soul at least has love for
herself. But when it comes to someone who commits suicide, such a person is
completely void of even this self-love and his or her soul must therefore by
necessity appear in the beyond as a very skinny skeleton. And that person
will appear in the beyond as a human skeleton or as some kind of animal
skeleton.
5. We already mentioned
that there are several kinds of suicide, the worst of which I have just
mentioned. A person who commits suicide of the worst kind does not appear in
the beyond in the form of a human skeleton, rather he or she appears as a
dragon, a serpent or as a highly wild, rapacious animal. Why this is so
should not be difficult to discern! For a soul of that kind will never
again enter into a totally perfected life.
6. Besides that there are people who commit suicide
because of jealousy for a maiden, where through no fault of hers another
suitor was more pleasing to her than the jealous one who at every
opportunity accused her of all kinds of acts of unfaithfulness, of which she
had no knowledge. Such a person appears in the beyond as a skeletal wolf, a
dog or a rooster, because it was the nature of these animals that led the
reason and will of such a jealous fool, since the attributes of these
creatures determined the actual main being of such a soul. These kinds of
human beings, when they commit suicide, will only reach some kind of
perfection of life, with the greatest difficulties.
7. Then there are people
who commit suicide who have secretly committed a great crime. They know very
well, if they are caught, that their punishment would be the penalty of
death, which is shameful and painful to them. They also realize that their
crime will some day be revealed. What usually happens in such a case? This
secret criminal, because of his great fear and because his conscience begins
to torment him, passes over into a state of the fullest and gloomiest
despair, which leads him to kill himself. This soul appears in the beyond as
a skeleton of its former creature-like attributes such as newts, lizards and
scorpions, which huddle together in one big heap. They are surrounded by a
glowing wall of fire in the shape of a serpent. Even this glowing wall
belongs to his former animalistic attributes and represents a particle of
intelligence of that soul.
8. In short, once a soul,
because of a bad upbringing has lost all love, even the love for oneself,
then this soul is completely permeated by the entire hell as life’s most
evil enemy. Through this the soul within herself becomes an enemy of her own
life and of her own existence, and constantly endeavors to kill herself in
some painless manner. When a soul is in this state, being a total enemy of
life, then eventually all life must fall apart. Then it becomes impossible
for such a soul to appear in any form in the beyond other than as a
completely dispersed being which can only be a fleshless skeleton that
merely carries the necessary judgment within.
9. The bones, when it comes
to human beings and animals, are the most judged and are therefore totally
devoid of all love. And since there is as little love in the bones as there
is in a stone, love cannot maintain itself therein, either physically or
astrally. The bones of human beings are more capable of clothing themselves
with life than the bones of an animal or even the skeleton shells of
insects, or the knots, cartilage and bones of amphibians.
10. When a person who has
committed suicide appears in the beyond in the shapes described, you can
imagine how difficult it will be and how long it will take until this soul
reaches the point where she passes over into a human skeleton and then
produces skin and flesh out of herself.
11. Now the question
arises: Does a soul in this state suffer any kind of pain? I can tell you
that at times such a soul suffers the greatest and most severe stinging pain
and at times she has no pain at all. Because the possibility exists that
this soul can be revived, and for this purpose she is, so to speak, awakened
by spirits that approach her, then she experiences severe stinging pain.
However, when this soul comes to rest again, she no longer has any feelings,
no consciousness, and therefore feels no pain.
12. There are quite a number of different kinds of
suicides, however they are not as malicious in their consequences as the
last two that I described. Naturally, there is not one single suicide that
has good consequences for the soul.
13. The suicide which will
be described by Mathael was one with the least consequences, and that is why
it did not take long and it was fairly simple to revive and redeem that
particular soul. However, such a soul lacks something forever, because it
will never come close to and reach complete filiation with God. A
soul that has committed suicide will never reach the blissful state
of even the first, the outermost, heaven also known as the lowest heaven.
Such a soul will not even reach these borders.
14. Into the first heaven,
the heaven of wisdom, come mostly those souls from other terrestrial bodies
and from this earth, the souls of wise heathens who in accordance with their
knowledge lived conscientiously and righteously, but who even in the beyond
did not want to hear anything about My Person. Should they however in time
accept something about Me, then they will be accepted in the higher or
central heaven. However, they will never enter into the third heaven, which
is the innermost and highest heaven. It is the actual heaven of love and
life. Into this heaven will enter only those which have reached a full
filiation with God.
[To the reader: This is
Mathael’s account of a suicide and the deadly fall of a curious boy.]
The
Deadly Fall of a Curious Boy
1.
The Lord speaks: (He addresses Mathael) Tell us about the boy who
fell from a tree and soon thereafter died, and also tell us about the death
of the one who jumped into a lake and drowned and therefore committed
suicide. But keep it brief and only give us what is most important.
2.
Mathael: I should like to ask you for your patience, as I have to
gather my thoughts because I should like to recount both cases at the same
time by connecting them.
3.
The Lord: You do not have to gather your thoughts, for I shall put
the correct words into your mouth.
4.
Mathael: If that is so, I shall recall these two events faithfully as
I have them in my memory.
5.
All those present said out loud: Well, High Viceroy of all the
nations of the vast Pontus to the Caspian Sea, we anxiously await your
account of these two events, because you are truly a master of storytelling.
6.
Mathael: When telling a story, above all you must have a command of
the language and a love for truth. Whosoever tells the truth always has an
advantage over a writer of fables. Be it as it may, what I have to tell you
in accordance with the Lord’s wish is a story which I experienced myself, of
which I experienced many from the cradle up to my twentieth year. I shall
speak of the one that I experienced when I was but seventeen years old,
while at my father’s side. My father who was always with me had become a
wise man through my visions. And here are the two events which took place:
7.
It was about the time when the Jews purified themselves, as is well
known, at the River Jordan. A ram was slaughtered in lieu of all the sins
the Jews had committed. In the end under all kinds of terrible bawling and
prayer formulas and cursing the ram was thrown into the River Jordan.
However, it would be a waste of words, since this ceremony is well known to
every Jew.
8.
But what is lesser known is that this festival was also attended by
many. There were Greeks, Romans, Egyptians and Persians in large number. In
short there was no shortage of curiosity seekers.
9.
It is understandable that the young boys in attendance also wanted to
see something of this spectacle. It is also understandable that they could
see very little because of the adults who blocked their vision. Hence, their
curiosity got the better of them and they climbed the nearby trees. However,
before long the trees could no longer accommodate the number of boys, and as
a result the boys began to quarrel on the branches. On many occasions they
were warned to settle down, but these well-meant reprimands were to no
avail.
10.
My father and I were sitting on camels which we received as gifts
from a Persian whom my father had cured of a severe illness. They both had
two humps and therefore they were more comfortable to ride than camels with
one hump. On account of riding these camels our vision was not impaired by
anything and we could see everything that occurred. Not far from us stood a
beautiful tall cypress tree. On its branches, which by nature are not very
strong, three boys were quarreling. Each of them made a great effort to
support their weight on the strongest branches.
11.
Since this tree was old and there were only two branches that were
strong enough to entrust one’s life, that is why these boys quarreled about
the possession of the two stronger branches. Therefore the third boy was
forced to be satisfied with several twigs rather than with a sturdy branch.
At a height of about five men, crouched on his branch, which was truly no
more than a twig, was the third boy.
12.
His situation on this twig was bearable for about an hour, but toward
noon a strong wind began to blow and the crown of the cypress tree began to
sway precariously. The wind drove thick smoke from the fuming sacrificial
altar directly into the faces of the three boys. They had to cover their
eyes if they did not want to shed streams of tears in vain.
13.
I was watching the third boy who was crouching on the twig-like
branch, for he was now in a most precarious position. At this point the
smoke became denser and it was driven directly into the direction of this
boy. With my spiritual eyes I then noticed two large bats circling around
his head. They were the size of two fully-grown pigeons and they drove the
smoke even more into the eyes of this poor boy.
14.
I made my father aware of this boy’s predicament and I said that
perhaps soon something quite unfortunate would happen to him. I also told
him what I had seen, namely that the two large bats did not seem to be
natural, because at times they would increase in size and then again they
would decrease in size.
15.
My father rode with his camel to the tree and called the boy to come
down as quickly as he could, otherwise he would have an accident. I do not
know whether the boy heard my father, even though he had called the boy in a
very loud voice. But I noticed that he continued with his previous behavior
and now the boy was crouching in his very precarious position on the
twig-like branch. He began to rub his eyes more and more because he was
bothered by the thick smoke. At this point the boy must have been
half-blind.
16.
When my father noticed that his attempt to warn the boy had failed,
because the boy did not respond at all, he came back to me and asked me
whether I still had the vision. I replied that I did and I told him that the
boy would suffer an unavoidable accident if he were not immediately removed
from the tree. Whereupon my father replied: Yes, my son, but what can we do?
We do not have a ladder, and when I called the boy he would not leave the
tree. Therefore, we are forced to wait and see what God, the Lord, has in
store for this disobedient boy.
17.
No sooner had my father spoken the last word, at which instant,
because of the boy’s constant movements, the weak branch broke. Having lost
his support, the boy fell headfirst with full force from a height of five
men onto a stone under the tree. His cranium and neck broke, and he was
instantly killed.
18.
This incident created a commotion among the people, and they pushed
and shoved to catch a glimpse of the accident victim. However, that was of
no help to the boy, since he was already dead. Eventually the Roman guards
dispersed the crowds that had gathered around the dead boy, and immediately
my famous father was called upon to examine whether he was really dead or if
the possibility existed that attempts could be made to revive him. My father
examined the boy’s shattered head and his broken neck and he said: Nothing
will bring this boy back to life! There is no herb or ointment that could do
so! Not only was this boy killed once, he was killed twice and he will not
come back to life in this world!
The
Spiritual Appearances During The Accident
The Suicide Of The Essene
Who Was Condemned By The Temple
1.
Mathael: While examining the boy, my father asked me if I could see
anything in particular on the boy.
2.
To avoid being
overheard, I spoke to him in Greek: The two large bats have joined together
over the boy’s thoracic cavity and have taken on the shape of a very sad
ape. Now they are trying to separate themselves from the body of the boy.
However, they seem to be attracted by the body to such an extent that for
the time being it is not possible for the bats to loosen themselves from the
body. The longer they make this effort, the more they become one. And now
they have separated from the body as a fleeting being. This being crouches
and jumps around the body as if it were looking for something!
3.
Could this be the
soul of the boy? asked my father.
4.
I replied: I really
do not know! In all seriousness how could such a scruffy boy have a better
soul? Now this peculiar being is crouching by the shattered head and it
seems as if it is licking blood from the large wound. However all its
efforts to do so seem to be in vain! It only succeeds to slurp up the light
and weak visible vapors of the blood and through this it gets a more human
appearance. Here come the people to take the corpse away. I am curious if
this ape-being will follow them!
5.
At that moment four
bearers came to remove the corpse. They had a long pole with them, and they
took the corpse and tied it to the pole with a linen cloth, and they lifted
the corpse and carried it away.
6.
Then I remarked
that the being remained. It looks around as someone who sees nothing but
empty space and where there is nothing to see. It does not seem to see us
physical human beings. Now it is crouching down at the spot where the boy
fell from the tree and it looks as though it wants to go to sleep. In all
seriousness, that must be the soul of the boy.
7.
That is when my
father said: Fortunately the annihilation of the ram is coming to an end!
All that remains is the sentencing of those who could not partake in this
general purification ceremony because their sins have been so great and so
evil. Each year it is the same old story, and as far as I am concerned it is
without any blessings, power and benefit and I believe that it affects
everyone else in the same way.
8.
Whereupon my father
became silent as he listened to the sentencing. He was quite annoyed when
the first condemnation was directed against the poor Samaritans. Then it was
directed against all heathens, then the Essenes, the Sadducees, and they
continued in a more nonchalant manner with those who had committed incest
and who were not ready for atonement, and those who had murdered their
brother, father or mother. Then on to those who had committed bestiality,
sodomy and adulterers; they received the most terrible sentences. Finally
sentence was passed on all those who despised the temple with all its sacred
objects.
9.
After this
ceremony, which was by no means uplifting, because whenever the high priest
uttered a condemnation his priestly garment would suffer a terrible tear,
the entire crowd returned to the city. Only one man who in all likelihood
was somewhat more than normal remained at the pond. He was deeply affected
by these condemnation sentences. The deep and ancient pond was not very far
from where we were, and it was a tributary of the Jordan River. A few fools
even invented the story that this hole which was no larger than a hundred
lengths of a man in circumference, was where all the water from the Great
Flood disappeared in one year and a few days. It is true that this pond was
very deep, but it was not bottomless.
10.
My father thought it
very suspicious that this man stared in a very confused manner from a rock
that protruded far over the water into the dark pond. He asked whether I
could see something extraordinary surrounding this man.
11.
I replied to my father
truthfully: I do not see anything; however, I cannot deny that I do not like
this entire situation with the man! And I believe that my prognosis is not
incorrect when I say that he will sooner or later attempt to examine how
deep this pond really is with his own body!
12.
I recapitulate the
occurrences of the past the way I spoke then. Even though my father did not
like it when I joked somewhat in serious matters, but I always had a
particular talent for that. I ask you therefore, O Lord, that You be
gracious enough and lenient with me in this instance, even though I am using
the same words which I used then.
13.
The Lord replies: The
way you speak is quite appropriate because that is the way I want it to be
and that is how I have put the words into your mouth! Continue with your
story for everyone is listening with great attentiveness!
14.
And Mathael continues
with his story: I had hardly spoken the last word when this man raises his
hands and says in a loud voice: The high priest has condemned me because I
am an Essene. I left the temple in order to learn another and better wisdom,
but I found just as little wisdom there as I found in the temple in
Jerusalem. But I returned remorsefully to the temple and I prayed and
brought offerings. However, the high priest rejected my offerings and he
called me the worst kind of desecrater of the temple and he condemned me
forever by ripping seven tears into his garment. I expected that during the
general purification ceremony I would receive some kind of mitigation of his
previous sentence of condemnation, but I waited in vain. Instead he
confirmed his previous condemnation and he turned me into a condemned man
before God and mankind! I am condemned and I am cursed. He screamed these
words out loud and jumped from the rock into the pond and drowned.
The
Souls Of The Two Casualties
In The Beyond
1.
Mathael: It did not
take long before I saw something like a gray human skeleton swimming very
slowly on the surface of the water. This scene was accompanied by peculiar
looking black ducks, in number of approximately ten. Only the feet under the
ankles of the skeleton were meagerly covered with flesh; all else was bone
without flesh and skin, which to me seemed quite peculiar. In the beginning
this swimming skeleton was face up. Approximately one-half hour later it had
turned around and it began to swim with its hands and legs like an
experienced swimmer, and it seemed to make the effort to ward off the black
ducks. However, the ducks were persistent; they did not want to leave the
eerie-looking swimmer.
2.
This puzzling
entity floated about for a good hour on the surface of this pond in every
direction, sometimes faster and sometimes slower. At times it would dive
underwater, only to surface again. If my father could have seen it too, I
would have thought that this monster was a water animal. But in spite of his
keen eyes he saw nothing. Therefore I could safely assume that this skeleton
swimming about in the pond was something unnatural; in other words it had to
be something astral and spiritual. After one hour it became completely
motionless and the ducks seemed to pick at the skeleton as if there was
still some flesh left on it.
3.
And since nothing
interesting seemed to happen on the pond anymore we turned our attention
again to the ape, who had just begun to attempt to get up and stand on its
hind legs and then it attempted to walk. However, it was not very
successful. Every fifth step it took, its front legs touched the ground. But
immediately it got up again to walk only on its hind legs. Whenever that
occurred it looked around in every direction, which led me to the conclusion
that this being was either afraid of something or it was very hungry and was
looking for food. While it was making these attempts to stand up and walk it
came upon the pond. While there it soon discovered the skeleton which now
was roaming around the pond again in the company of the ducks.
4.
When this ape —
which I was now certain was the soul of the dead boy — saw the skeleton, he
shrieked and looked at the skeleton with particular interest. About one hour
later the ape stood up completely erect like a human being and I could
clearly understand the words he whispered: That was the unfortunate father
of my poor physical body! Woe to me and to him because both of us are now
caught by Jehovah’s wrath and judgement! At least I can still be helped, but
can he?
5.
At this point the
ape paused and the expression on his face was very sad. On the pond the
ducks were cheerfully teasing the skeleton, which at this point did not show
much life, and at the same time they drove it all over the pond. This
display lasted for about half an hour and while this was occurring, the
people who had been there were gone, except for a few Romans and Greeks who
were discussing business, but they paid no attention to our activities.
6.
At this point my
father asked whether something was happening, to which I replied: No,
nothing at all!
7.
That is when my
father voiced his opinion that we should depart, because we had witnessed
everything that was worthwhile and noteworthy. As for everything else,
whatever Jehovah undertakes with these two souls should hardly be our
concern.
8.
That is when I
replied: Father, we have already dedicated three hours to these two souls
and we have gained nothing other than this quiet, sad spectacle before my
eyes, therefore we should at least dedicate one more hour, and perhaps
something interesting will develop! My father agreed to my proposal and we
remained. Within a few moments of this conversation everything suddenly
changed.
9.
Suddenly with a
great fury the ape stood up and jumped upon the surface of the water and he
began to chase one of the eerie ducks. Once he had caught it he immediately
tore it into a thousand pieces! The ape continued to do this until it had
destroyed all of them, except for five, whereupon those that remained
scattered as quickly as possible.
10.
After these evil ducks
had left, the ape carried the skeleton out of the water and placed it about
five paces in front of me on a beautiful patch of grass. And the ape said to
the skeleton: Father, as destitute as you are now, can you hear my voice? Do
you understand my words? The skeleton nodded with its skull as it was
sitting there and it gave the son to understand that it could hear and
understand his words.
11.
Then the ape, who
noticeably became more and more human in his form, stood up as if he had
significant powers and spoke to his father now with a very clear voice:
Father! If there is a God, then there can only be a good and righteous God!
This God condemns no one, because if a human being is a work of this God,
then he cannot be some carelessly botched-up piece of work, instead he must
be a masterpiece! However, if there were a master who in all seriousness
condemned his work, that would place the master far below the worst kind of
bungler, because even a bungler does not condemn his work, but gives himself
credit for it. And would God as the Grandmaster of all masters condemn His
works?
12.
Cursing and
condemnation is an invention of man as a consequence of the blind human
nature and as a consequence of being undeveloped. The blunders committed by
a person who is growing spiritually are tests on how a human being that is
to become independent should use his willpower. Whereas the actions of a
person is an exercise of determining oneself in the sphere of cognizance as
well as in the free volition in a certain order. This order is posed in such
a way through all the infinite sequences of the immense creation of the one
and only wise Creator. And only in such an order is the existence of beings
on a temporal and eternal basis conceivable.
13.
The curse of human
beings is an evil part from their night-side; human beings corrupt those
next to them and in the end they plunge entire nations into the greatest
plight, into the greatest misery and all kinds of despair. And you my poor
earthly father, you were killed by the high priest’s tenfold curse and
condemnation, even though before God you did not deserve to be condemned and
cursed. In your great despair you took your temporal physical life and now
you are here and you became a sad monstrosity on account of someone’s purely
human pride who thought of himself as a god. Whereas I will perhaps receive
for certain the great blessing from God and enough insight and powers to
remove the tenfold curse of the high priest from you, which plagued you in
the form of the ten black ducks. Now you are out in the open air and in a
dry place. I shall do everything within my power to help you in your great
plight and misery.
14.
During this speech the
human ape began to take on more of a truly human form and at the end of his
address a complete human being with a charming appearance had emerged, and
suddenly out of nowhere he was dressed in a light gray pleated garment.
Beside him was something wrapped in cloth. The boy, who was now beautiful,
opened the cloth and removed a dark gray shirt and said: Aha, this garment
is for you; allow me to clothe you with it!
15.
The skeleton-being
nodded in the affirmative and before long the boy had put the garment on the
skeleton-human. Then he took the cloth, which was somewhat lighter in color,
and tied it around his father’s head like a turban; through this the
skeleton looked somewhat better. Whereupon, the boy who became more and more
courageous tried to lift the old man to his feet, but alas in this endeavor
he did not succeed.
16.
After several attempts
the boy, who by now had grown to the size of a young man, spoke in a loud,
penetrating voice — which even my father allegedly heard — but without
articulation: Jehovah! If You are somewhere then send us some help! He did
not sin! Instead those human beings who claim for themselves the respect of
a divinity have committed a much greater sin. They did this only to extract
from the world a greater honor and profit, while he was crushed by a stone
that fell suddenly out of the clouds. Now this poor soul lies here condemned
by the world! Because of this, will this soul be also forever condemned by
You? At least give this soul a skin to cover her apparent bones! I feel
great pity for my father’s horrific barrenness. Help, Jehovah, help!
17.
Almost immediately two
mighty spirits appeared and they touched the skeleton in the area of the
temple. Momentarily the skeleton had tendons, skin and sparse hair, and as
it seemed to me even eyes, though they seemed to be hollow and deep-set.
Neither spirit uttered a word and after this task they disappeared
immediately.
18.
Whereupon, the
handsome boy attempted again to help the human skeleton to his feet, and
this time he succeeded. The old man was standing up now, and the young man
asked him whether he could walk too. The old man replied in the affirmative
but with an extremely shrieking hollow voice. The young man helped him
immediately and both proceeded towards the south, and soon they disappeared
from sight.
The
Lord’s Explanation Of The State
Of These Two Souls In The Beyond
1. Mathael: These were the two events that I
witnessed. However, whatever happened to these two in the kingdom of
spirits, I do not know.
Mathael
addresses the Lord: In spite of Your previous explanations I do not
understand the significance of the two bats which later turned into the
shape of an ape when the boy fell from the tree. And why did the soul of the
man who committed suicide appear to me on the surface of the water as a
skeleton with hardly any life at all? Where did the ten black ducks come
from and why did they torment the skeleton? How could the ape-like soul of
the boy finally overwhelm the ten evil birds? What meaning does the clothing
have? From where did it come and what effect did it exert in accordance with
its kind upon the two different souls?
2. Yes, there are still
many more things about which many questions could be raised, but for me the
important points are those about which I expressed my ignorance and I would
appreciate it very much if You would be so gracious and explain it to me.
And should someone here wish to have an explanation about any other thing
that occurred he will perhaps also be allowed to express himself!
3. Cyrenius (also in the
group) speaks: [1] Friend, your
story has put me into a very peculiar mood. Human life seems to me like a
stream that runs peacefully and harmlessly over a mountain plain. But at the
end of the mountain plain this quiet stream plunges with the most horrific
gravity into an infinite depth and with a thundering roar it drills a
spine-chilling deep bed of rest, but it finds no peace. Because the power of
its own fall continues to drive it forth from its bed of rest with great
vehemence and it flees and flees until it is devoured by the omnipotence of
the ocean and by its immeasurable depth.
4. O Lord, would you
console us and explain to us these dreadful serious moments of an otherwise
beautiful life! If we take a good look at the desperate man who jumped into
the well-known pond in order to end his life, it is clear what a great and
horrible change occurred immediately after he jumped. Even though it seemed
that some kind of moderation of his circumstances took place afterwards, by
how much does this change matters! What uncertainty, what misery! Therefore,
O Lord and Master please give us an explanation that gives us some comfort
about the phenomenon that Brother Mathael saw and reported to us so well,
even though it was quite a horrific account of the events!
5. The Lord: There
certainly seemed to be some awfully sad moments in the lives of the two
human beings and these sad moments were truly filled with the greatest
gravity. But what does one do when a life that has completely gone astray
through the influences of the world and its hellish desires? How does one
save this life so that it does not completely fade away and lose itself and
that it gradually gets back onto the right path? Must such a life not be
seized in all earnest?
6. Yes, it is true that the
moment when a life is seized in this manner certainly has something highly
repulsive for the onlooker! Passing over through a very narrow gate is
certainly not as pleasant as the face of a completely healthy and chaste
bride, but it does introduce the actual human being into life, which means
into a true and eternal immortal life! And for this very reason in the end
this serious moment in one’s life gives the one who understands it much more
comfort than the smiling face of a chaste bride. However, we shall now
proceed and examine those things witnessed by Mathael.
7. Mathael saw two bats
flying around the boy before he fell from the tree to his death. First of
all the boy was purely a descendent of this earth. As you know from previous
explanations, the children that are purely of this earth are astrally and
physically composed of the entire organic creation of this earth. Proof of
that is the highly varied nourishment for the physical body which a human
being eats and drinks, while an animal is very limited in its choice of
nourishment. In order that a human being can supply all his intelligence
particles of which his soul consists with the appropriate soul-food that is
contained in the natural nutriments which a human being eats, he can eat his
share of various kinds of nourishment from the animal, plant and mineral
kingdoms. Because the form of the soul’s body is nourished and it matures
from the natural food just like the physical carnal body.
8. Now it depends from
which previous sphere of creation a human being who is purely from this
earth has received his soul in accordance with the ascending degrees.
Secondly, what has to be considered, and this applies especially to
children, is the fact that their souls still bear traces of the previous
species of creation from which the soul passed over into a human form. If a
child is subjected to a good upbringing, then the previously created form
will soon change into a completely human form and becomes constantly
solidified more and more within itself. Should however the child’s
upbringing or education be totally ignored, then in this child’s soul the
previously created form comes to the foreground more and more. Whereupon
little by little it draws even the solidly formed physical body into the
aforementioned previously created form. And without a doubt it does not take
much effort to recognize in many a coarse human being which form his soul
predominately possesses.
9. When I mentioned earlier
that the boy descended purely and clearly from this earth in the astral and
physical sense, you must now recognize that because of his neglected
upbringing, while he was on the tree in the beginning and even before he
fell, his soul was visible in the form of two bats. While holding onto the
tree and while almost suffocating from the thick smoke he fell into a
spasmodic type of coma, even though it helped him remain on the tree for a
little while, he himself was no longer aware of this.
10. At the moment when a
human being dies, if a soul is not fully separated from the physical body,
the result will be that the soul becomes fearfully perturbed and completely
unconscious. This situation is the same as a person being tied to the rim of
a wheel facing outwards and the wheel rotates at a tremendous speed. Then he
can look and look, but he will not be able to distinguish any object. The
most he will see is a dull-colored vapor circling around him and as the
speed of the wheel increases the organ of sight becomes increasingly
unstable and eventually passes over into total darkness.
11. As the organ of sight
must have its peace in order to determine what kind of object it looks at,
the soul requires a certain kind of inner peace in order to attain a safe
and bright consciousness within herself. The more a soul is in a state of
unrest within herself the more her clear self-awareness disappears. Once the
soul is in this state of great unrest, then she knows hardly anything about
herself until she returns to a state of rest. The less a soul is developed
during her lifetime the more a dying person is affected by this. Whereas for
a soul who has reached perfection during her lifetime, this sad moment of
unconsciousness when the person dies does not occur. Mathael witnessed that
when Lazarus died, because his soul did not fall victim to any unrest.
12. Prior to his fall the
boy was almost physically dead for fifteen minutes and he was no longer
aware of anything. His soul, as well as his physical body, was already
surrounded by total darkness. And a soul who plunges into a state of great
unrest, begins to split up into her previous, smaller and imperfect past
life creatures; that is why the two bats were visible first. Only after the
boy’s brain was crushed were all connections severed and then more peace
entered his destroyed soul. The two astral past-life creatures seized each
other and they became visible as an ape as the last past-life creature. But
it took some more rest before he could take complete hold of himself, and
then more rest yet to recognize himself again and to become aware of himself
again. That is why he crouched for a while at the spot where his body fell
from the tree, but it was more instinctively than being aware of what had
happened.
13. Gradually his
consciousness and his self-awareness returned, at which time the ape began
to resemble more and more a human being and began to stand upright. His soul
perceived more and began to notice the soul of his earthly father, who had
committed suicide. He left the place where he had crouched for a while and
he walked towards the pond by following his sense of perception, where he
now completely recognized his father’s soul, which was burdened and plagued
with a tenfold human curse.
14. At that point his filial love awakened in him and
with it the question about God and His true righteousness. At the same time
a righteous anger awakened in him against the curse and condemnation which
human beings in their infinite pride dare to hurl against their poor but
much better fellow man. Through this the more perfected ape-man realized
that he had the power to take on the ten devils of condemnation which, in
the form of black ducks, had tormented his father’s soul without mercy.
15.
In this high state of
self-awareness, driven by his filial love for his father, he plunged into
the pond right in the middle of these ten devils of condemnation and within
a few moments he destroyed them, through which the ape-man became even more
human.
16.
His love now begins to
sprout new roots of life in the dead soul of his father. This in turn gives
the son more love and more energy. Armed with that he pulls his father from
the place of his demise and his downfall and carries him to dry land, where
through the son’s love and also for the father’s future existence a solid
ground of rest is found. The son’s love increases and his light becomes
stronger, through which he recognizes the inadequacy of his powers and now
he turns to God in the appropriate manner, so that He may help his father.
As a result of his petition, help is forthcoming. He receives clothing and
the energy to leave that place for a better and more perfected sphere of
life, where the father’s soul is nourished by the son’s constantly growing
love in order to obtain the necessary spiritual flesh and blood. Once the
father’s soul has obtained the spiritual blood and is covered with spiritual
flesh this will eventually enable him to recognize God and enter into His
order, which of course is always connected with tremendous difficulties for
anyone who has committed suicide.
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